i imagine that Beyoncé is off somewhere on a yacht, sipping on an olivia pope sized glass of wine, watching the entire world explode over her new album dropping out of literally the thinnest of air and cackling to herself with sheer joy. like, not only did she give you 14 new songs, but she gave you a music video for every damn one. this wasn’t just a casual troll, this was a calculated strike of nuclear proportions and she is leaving no survivors.
who the fuck has time for sex right now beyonce just released a new album
so in sum:
- beyonce drops an album with no fucking warning and no promotions
- laughing in the face of lady gaga’s art pop expenses
- on the night lorde drops a “secret single”
- on taylor swift’s birthday
- when lupe fiasco had planned to drop his album
- thereby fucking up everyone’s end of the year lists especially rolling stones magazine
- on friday the 13th because fuck your illuminati bullshit
y’all literally could never
THE THING ABOUT FLAWLESS IS WHEN BOW DOWN/ I BEEN ON DROPPED ALL THE WHITE FEMINIST WERE ATTACKING HER FOR SAYING BITCH BUT THE SONG WAS A FEMINIST ANTHEM THE ENTIRE TIME THIS BITCH SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY LIKE BOW DOW BITCHES
BEYONCE dropped Friday the 13th because she’s bad luck for everyone’s career right nowBRUH
oh my gosh
I dedicate this little number to all those who like to say Disney princesses are nothing but passive, submissive, and horrible role models.